Finding a Thai woman for marriage will not be easy however certainly, finding the right Thai woman will make it worth it!
If you haven’t already, we recommend taking a look at our dating a thai girl blog, which goes over to what to expect when dating a Thai woman and 10 red flags that will help you on your journey to finding the perfect partner.
Thai culture is vastly different from the west and when marrying a Thai woman there will be expectations placed on you. That does not mean you should forget your own culture and upbringing. The fact is, you’ll know that you’ve found the right Thai woman for marriage if she respects your culture, as you respect hers.
One of the best parts of Thai culture is the very real sense of family and community. This feeling is stronger in small towns, cities and villages however even in Bangkok, a community exists. You will find yourself in a situation where everyone attends events at the template (weddings etc) to show their respects.
Meeting The Family
It’s not recommend to rush into meeting your Thai partners family. Take things slowly and let your Thai partner talk to her family about you before meeting them.
When you do meet her parents, in all likelihood the topic of marriage will come up. The motives behind this are usually innocent, and based on culture. You shouldn’t feel pressured!
The thing is, the majority of Thai people learn about westerners from the media, which doesn’t always shine the best light… on anything. Your Thai partner’s parents will almost certainly have some of the negative stereotypes.
When her parents talk about marriage, they are trying to protect their daughter. It’s almost used as a guarantee that you won’t just up and leave. In Thai culture, women having many partners is looked down on!
How to handle the marriage conversation?
Be respectful, be courteous. Her parents will quickly learn about you and come around. The discussions of marriage will slow down but… your Thai partner and her parents will still want to get married eventually!
Marriage to a Thai woman in all likelihood will mean a traditional Thai wedding ceremony. The part that sticks out and causes confusion is Sin Sod.
No doubt you’ve heard about Sin Sod, you’ll have to pay cash, gold, land and other valuables… or do you?
Remember that Sin Sod is part of Thai culture. If you are a westerner, your own culture should also be respected. You can definitely come to a happy conclusion.
Sin Sod is used as an indication of wealth, it is a sign of your ability to look after your Thai partner and is a sign of respect (face) to your partner’s family. A reasonable sum for Sin Sod will be between 0 thb and 500k thb, and will be a mixture of cash and gold.
The amount of Sin Sod that will be asked for is based on the status of the woman. If your Thai partner has a masters degree and a good job, you may show 500k or more, if willing. On the other hand, if your Thai partner is older, has children, is a divorcee you don’t need a Sin Sod although you may wish to offer a small Sin Sod that will be returned as a sign of respect.
What to do about your Sin Sod
Sin Sod can be stressful, it’s alien to western culture and almost feels like you are “buying” marriage to your Thai woman but it doesn’t have to be!
The first thing you should do, if you have not already, is talk with your Thai partner. Discuss what you both can afford and are both willing to offer. Be clear at this stage, it’s the start of your life together! I recommend letting your Thai fiance talk with her parents about Sin Sod, alone.
Sin Sod is usually returned in full
Sin Sod is typically returned in full, or in part. You might have a different arrangement where the bride’s family will hold onto the money until you need it, or are ready to purchase property, land etc.
Remember that it’s uncommon for the bride’s family to keep 100% of the Sin Sod, and to be honest, be concerned if they want to.
Helping The Family
There’s this idea online that when you marry a Thai woman, you’ll be financially responsible for her family. There’s been some recorded instances where westerners have taken it upon themselves do this but it’s not necessary!
You may help out your Thai fiance’s family from time to time, just like any western marriage.
The idea that you are responsible, or have to, help sustain your Thai fiance’s parents are not true. If you have enough money and WANT to, it’s totally up to you, it’s your money.
Use common sense, use the rules that you have done for your entire life. There’s no harm in helping out from time to time, and if that help gets repaid, then continue helping. If you never get repaid, you have absolutely no obligations to help!